The Writings on the Wall

Thinking about the term 'Space Cadet,' which I highly desire to be for at least a portion of the day. I found some interesting funny facts to take my mind off my work here . Simplicity is an immaculate art. I literally envy people who have no thoughts. I'm getting there, but I still find myself having a daily struggle where I start with one thought and then I get a little side tracked and the thought about combing my bangs turns into madness. I am getting better though because I am able to identify when the sidetracking happens. A huge realization I had today in the car was that my most prone time to overthink is when I'm driving. Why? Well first I worry about people looking at me, then I realize that I have to be somewhat alert to pay attention to the road (as much as I overthink it is truly a miracle that I maintain a good driving record) --> see positive thinking there <-- also see sidetracked mind there. But anywho yes when I am driving on the Thruway espe...

I am truly in awe of myself at this point and acknowledging my internal prominence. I am living my truth, and it feels like something I've never experienced in this lifetime. My post today is surrounding the idea of manifestation, and belief. I am well aware of manifestation and I've used this technique many times consciously and subconsciously. However, Belief was not so high on the list. In my previous role I struggled tremendously with confidence. I was really being underutilized as a consultant in the cybersecurity practice mainly because my geographic location prohibited my from thriving. With the under-utilization and the other internal struggles I had at the time I lost some of my confidence. When I went to meetings and lead presentations I sounded strong but on the inside I was scared. This was new to me, I've never been scared to do anything until then. I felt like a fraud, like I wasn't as good as my credentials say I am, and then I failed my CISSP. Something ...

So today I decided to make some major, major changes. I've decided it's time to get rid of the things that are no longer serving me. I can't take the lack of sleep, overthinking, panic attacks, and overall irritation with humanity anymore. It took a lot for me to make this change. First and foremost, I've had a full conversation with myself that I need to live my truth. I have a passion for my chosen career field and I need to live up to it. I sometimes fall victim to the train of thought 'well I wanted to do this, but I guess I'll just be good at the easy thing instead.' --> no longer serving me. I know that my existence is spread beyond that of the life I've been living. While I will always continue to overcome adversity, I still sometimes let myself take the easy way out, which has never served me. However, I spent some time today focusing on the things that have served me over the years as I've grown into the person that I am now. I turned o...