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Why I always do the hard (right) thing

So today I decided to make some major, major changes. I've decided it's time to get rid of the things that are no longer serving me. I can't take the lack of sleep, overthinking, panic attacks, and overall irritation with humanity anymore. It took a lot for me to make this change. First and foremost, I've had a full conversation with myself that I need to live my truth. I have a passion for my chosen career field and I need to live up to it. I sometimes fall victim to the train of thought 'well I wanted to do this, but I guess I'll just be good at the easy thing instead.' --> no longer serving me.

I know that my existence is spread beyond that of the life I've been living. While I will always continue to overcome adversity, I still sometimes let myself take the easy way out, which has never served me. However, I spent some time today focusing on the things that have served me over the years as I've grown into the person that I am now. I turned off my accounts, turned on Alexa (Garden's of Varanassi Radio is my fave thinking music), and I sat down and turned on my kindle. Then I read, and I read, and I read. When I got tired of reading I bookmarked SIEM Solutions and Gartner's Magic Quadrant. When I got tired of browsing I opened my business phone account and responded to the 25 email requests looking for a consultant. When I got tired of that I read.

As life goes on it becomes easier and easier for us to settle where we are, to think we've got it pretty good so why keep going? Better yet, when you get slapped in the face by being laid off from a company you weren't serving to begin with, or they threaten to sue you because your tenacity threatens them. I've suffered many adverse moments in my life, from miscarriage to divorce to the man threatening to take away everything I've worked for. But I never threw in the towel for one distinct reason; I know that I am worth it. I know that I can do this. It's time for me to stop running from my exemplary brain and start channeling those overthinking thoughts into product.

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