Liberation of one’s mind is, simply put; the sincerest form of freedom that we can experience as humans

 Smoking, Being Alone, and Being Brilliant – Why it’s challenging for me to Quit

Always be vigilant in your consistency. For instance, I spent my holiday morning (quiet I may add since my son is out of the house), researching information on insults. I expect everything that I do to be of a certain stature; and as such I will continue to uphold the highest quality delivery that I can possibly commit to. (COMMIT is a SQL term too I like to relate my life’s work with my other life’s work, it’s a thing I do).

I like smoking because it is a mild form of escape of the prison that my mind was living in. The action of lighting up a cigarette in the crisp night air, under the stars (star gazing is one of my favorite past-times). I would step outside, music playing on my headset, something smooth, stare up at the stars, and light one up. Smiling usually, because I feel like an Adult-Child that is misbehaving while only being acknowledged by the great spirit of my ancestors above, but not punished.

I like to Light Up because it is my time to reflect on the millions of thoughts that spin around in my head. No one said being a genius would be easy. Ask my Father, for example. World’s Most Brilliant Man, and he freaks out about water being spilled on the bottom shelf of my fridge. Perhaps his subservience to this anxiety is a meek form of the illusion of mental liberation utilizing control theory. For example, he thinks he has something appropriate to worry about and freak out about and he is using it as a tool to control the environment around him.

How? Well, Ashley comes downstairs to pour a cup of her morning coffee à and instead of making it to the coffee machine, Dad stands in the doorway (control – blocking the entrance), and says ‘ASH THERE’S WATER ON THE FLOOR OF THE FRIDGE!!!!’ and now Ashley is involved and unwillingly submissive to the mental control that oppresses her father. And now I’m MAD, simply because I now have re-ordered my thought-folders and fear was opened without my consent.

This subservience is existent in my child, too. I see it in his eyes. I see how he loses his shit when he can’t figure out how to zip-up his sweater. My son becomes engulfed with Anger and Rage, I step in to help him (as, I believe, A Mother should), but he does-not accept my help. He just continues to yell and scream until he throws it off. My son, he is a genius just like his Mother and his Grandfather before him. And as such, Geniuses get MAD when they are bad at something. These are the truest words I’ve ever spoken. As my Relationship Guide @Jess Powell taught me, Anger is empowered Sadness.

We become sad when we have difficulty understanding something.