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What is it that you do best with the least amount of effort? - That's your gift.

This message really spoke to me today as I am still overcoming the summer hurdle of loss, disappointment, sadness, grief, nicotine, and alcohol. I had to go deep into the depths of my soul to really understand myself. A constant in my life; A question I always ask myself, "why am I so different than other people?"

What is it that you do best with the least amount of effort? - That's your gift.

A daily reminder to those of us that have found our gifts and for those who are still searching. I've run from my abilities for years, doing the bare minimum to get by. It kept landing me in high places, which I really did not understand because I never thought it was "hard." I have been convinced for years that something is seriously wrong with me. Personally my test taking anxiety - if you want to call it that, I think it's more of an argument, I am really good at convincing that all the answers are right and providing reasons why :)

Why did I choose engineering? It's more like it chose me. I just sat in class one day at SU kind of bored and then we started working on the labs (actually utilizing the CLI and packet tracer), and then I was like - well this is awesome so I'm gonna do this.

Right now, I am open to my abilities, capabilities. I am self-learning Linux, Bash Scripting, Pen Testing, KaliLinux, Splunk, and (relearning) FortiOS. This stuff just makes me happy - so be it. My phone has been ringing off the hook with opportunities (which is awesome), but I am slowly starting to remember who I am. When the guy asked me how I could compress and upload a bunch of index files to a sql server (my mind went off to space for a bit while he boasted). I waited patiently and answered his question with the truth: "I would ask the client what he or she needs, gather requirements, and execute a solution." It could be a bash script, it could just be pressing a button using Splunk (lol, Machine Data). I do NOT speak like other engineers. It is important to accept and acknowledge this.

I never feel the need to boast what I know - my work speaks for itself. AT&T can attest to that, and no - I'm not talking about retail, I'm referring to the Cyber Security Director that reports to the Executive that reports to the CEO. I refuse to conform. To try and "convince" people that I can do it. I already know I can, I already have.

My dreams will come true. Sure, my dreams are outrageous and wild. 3 Homes, happy, healthy kids, a black ferrari convertible, more work than I know what to do with, more money than I can spend.

This reminds me of the time I was 21 and I promised myself I would make a 6 figure salary by age 30.

I made that salary by age 28. If only the world knew what big dreams and plans I am scheming up next. Stay tuned.

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