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This feeling deep inside, How far from fear I lied miles and miles, Still standing by this wall, No sign of tears to fall

Today will be a good day! I read yesterday about how important it is to 'Feed the courage wolf.' Courtesy of Mark Divine's book, Unbeatable Mind. I woke up feeling ACES, then had a coffee thinking I'm a boss and can handle it....lol, no. I drink coffee every morning. But, I've changed my diet and the alcohol and post op drugs are flowing out daily. With that being said I went out with a friend last night and had a few beers, like no big deal right? Haha BIG DEAL IT WAS. I had fun though, kicked ass at darts, then proceeded to get my ass kicked. Also I succumbed to wings and some fried dough. After eating literally nothing but broccoli, eggs, minimal protein, oranges, etc. My body was like hold the hell up sis. But, the good news is that I had fun. Now I understand what they mean when they say 'everything is good in moderation.' Lol random thought but I assume this means I can be a smart ass in moderation too, right? Because I am learning that suppressing the annoying feelings just makes them worse. Versus just saying whatever the hell you want to say when you want --> then moving on. I'm still a sweetheart.

When I drank the coffee this morning my entire mood changed and I started panicking. I called my brother and he told me that when you drink you have to have tea the next morning instead. I learn something new every day :) Magnesium definitely helps calm me down, I feel calm now. I'm ready to get back on Adobe Creative Suite and SLAY the SHIT out of CISSP training. It's time. I've done enough of these personal videos to face the fear of public speaking. I'm also keeping my son home with me today instead of running to SYR. Something told me not to get behind a wheel this morning after the coffee rush. Don't think and drive.

Alright, Universe I am ready to receive. (I mean let's take it a little lightly with the panic attacks but definitely surprise me today, thanks!) And for the love of all things mighty will you please send me PATIENCE. Typical Sagittarius patience is my utmost inner struggle with everything. Haha I cannot wait to manifest this weekend. Last weekend I manifested everything I wanted, and with the break from work I was able to really focus. So whenever the Universe is ready to hit me with that Lambo I am ready to receive it. My card deck did say a new car soon. (New people in my life, I L O V E cars),  literally I will only drive V6 and above. Getting excited just thinkin about it. How funny is it that the Lambo and the song I posted 'Miles and Miles' by Schiller both go together. Told ya I could manifest.

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