If Nothing Goes Right, Go Left

Literally I cannot wait. I took the step. With both knees having undergone surgery and a will that I cannot seem to suppress. No matter how much cardio or strength I do, nothing compares to the thrill I feel of playing soccer. After literally just trapping and passing at PT, I felt an urge to hurry up and get back out there. I have nothing left to fear. I ran today, for the first time since 2015. It was frightening but after the first step I just slid right into it. I also had a dream about me sliding into a goal a few months ago. Can't wait to get started! I've found my match!

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Have You Ever Had A Panic Attack?

Imagine being alone. Knowing that you are on your own, and nobody is going to help you. Imagine, having a child to raise alone, a hyper active 5 year old boy, who you can never seem to calm down, and for whom you still resent his father for leaving you two alone to deal with life. Imagine, trouble catching your breath when you're standing in your own kitchen, gasping for air as you smear butter on your son's toast, hands shaking, feeling weak at the knees, as if you are going to die, or at least pass out at any second. Your son runs around in the background, yelling playfully, and the more you try to hide what is happening, the more you scare yourself. You try not to think about it, because you know if you acknowledge it - it will get worse. Once again, you find yourself with little income, working just one job because you needed a break from all of the others, and now the company that hired you and took you away from your consulting work, that made big promises to you in excha...

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Nature is My Healer

We can't stop the rain here in Upstate, NY. However, we can adapt to it. I'm learning, if I apply the same mentality that I have all winter, my internal dialogue reads: "this is a time to enjoy the crisp, breathable air," "run through the snow, they made crampons for a reason," "cross country skiing is fun and relaxing at the same time, bring your phone and play your favorite music." I start with these ideas, and then I just go. I put on the coat, and the boots, and the gloves, and I go. Later on, when I come home, I am satisfied and fulfilled. See, my Native roots keep me close to nature. Right now, as a person who works remote, and runs a business from home, I am finding that getting outside has become essential. That being said, I went for my 5 mile trail run this morning, (after like 5 months, not bragging). After I dropped my son off at school. I didn't just go for a run. It was raining, it was cold, I had a million really great excuses ...

The Writings on the Wall

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