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Deep down I really want to change the world; it's something I mean when I say it


I finally slept you guys omg! 10 to 5. I'm so proud of myself. Embracing the storm. Another day down, another panic attack down, another trip to the gym down, another negative thought put away down. My epiphany from yesterday was that I have been through a lot of shit and I have not given myself the time to reflect and feel that. I got to the point that 1000 things piled up and I couldn't handle the stress anymore. The irony is that the problems are all out of my control. My dad getting sick, my 'job' situation, my son growing up, my div
orce settling, settling period. I have no control over any of these things, and during the course of my divorce I got very good at suppressing my emotions. Too good honestly, to the point that there were times I knew I was supposed to cry but the warrior in me wouldn't let me. I'm embracing the sadness now. It's nice to know that I'm still human, still a free spirit, still know how to be happy, to smile and laugh. Even if it's at the thought of my brother dancing to the 5th dimension...lol this thought always brings me joy.

I'm trying to do something very big with my life. I'm trying to change the world. Big dreams are a wonderful thing to have. However, for those of us struggling with stress and anxiety we have to remember to breathe. I can dream of my certs and my business and I see success. Visionary. But the current struggle is to stop during those thoughts and take a breath. Change is good. When my time comes I want to have done all of the things I've dreamt about. The saddest thing in life is wasted talent. I know I'm capable of achieving anything I set my heart on, so there's no need to overthink it.

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