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The importance of Value and Self Worth

So, I've taken a break from blogging as I recovered from my major Knee surgery in early March. However, I've been able to keep track of general thoughts that I feel are relevant to this and future posts on my personal blog. My recovery has been amazing, and the healing journey has been a great time of self reflection and rest. I'm back at it again and one thing has crept up on me; my inability to sleep through the night. I'm waking at 3AM again every single day, even if I don't go to bed until 1AM. Every single day is like a repetitive pattern, I rise, get my son around, drink (strong) coffee, we feed, and head out. At days end we return to the house, feed, and work on winding down for bed time. And every single night, after my son is in bed I read either kindle books on my tablet or Spiritual books. I'm always tired but I can never just close my eyes and go to bed. The catch 22 here is that when I utilize my full potential, do the work, read the books, put in one hundred and fifty percent, I think i've done right by the world, and I deserve rest. Yet, I can never just shut my brain off. By the time I do fall asleep I end up waking right back up at 3AM, cursing the gods for not letting me get any shuteye.

I'm spending some time at the moment doing research about what it really means to wake up at 3. I found an interesting article: Covey Club, Waking Up 3AM. This article mostly covers changes in the way we live our lives in our current century, and I felt like it really touched home. We are awake more because we can be, we have electricity and artificial lighting. Back in the day it was sun up to sun down. How I envy those days! I would love to go to sleep as soon as it is dark outside! I do not have that luxury with a 3 year old boy, a Siberian Husky who has seizures and needs his medicine twice daily, a Pit Bull who barks at everyone who walks by all hours of the evening, and of course there is the house that I inherited in my divorce. I love my home, my dogs, my son, I really do, and I know that I'm blessed to have all of these things; but I would be lying if I said that upholding everything on my own is easy.

All in all, I thought these generalizations would lead my into the future theme of my personal blog. I want to reflect more on the positives of being a tough, strong, alpha female feminist queen! I'm not a huge fan of reflecting on the past. However, I will make one exception. In my lifetime I have overcome immense adversities in both my Career and my Personal life. The average person will never hear me complain, you're more likely to hear me talk about the good that came out of whatever struggles I've faced. It's amazing that I have the ability to put a positive spin on my struggles (and those of others), and I've always survived. So why lay awake in bed every night worrying about the future?

More soon. Chao.

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